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you can identify universities by their internet domains.
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you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
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you have difficulty reading anything that doesn’t have footnotes.
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you understand jokes about Foucault.
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the concept of free time scares you.
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you consider caffeine to be a major food group.
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you’ve ever brought books with you on vacation and actually studied.
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Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
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the professor doesn’t show up to class and you discuss the readings anyway.
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you’ve ever travelled across two state lines specifically to go to a library.
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you appreciate the fact that you get to choose which twenty hours out of the day you have to work.
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you still feel guilty about giving students low grades (you’ll get over it).
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you can read course books and cook at the same time.
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you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends can come.
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you hope it snows during spring break so you can get more studying in.
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you’ve ever worn out a library card.
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you find taking notes in a park relaxing.
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you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
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you’ve ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.
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you can analyse the significance of appliances you cannot operate.
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your office is better decorated than your apartment.
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you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet.
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you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want to read.
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you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
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you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for your laptop.
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everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
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you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting event.
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you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while researching a single paper.
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there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider “yours.”
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you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
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you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic flow at the library.
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you look forward to summers because you’re more productive without the distraction of classes.
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you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
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you consider all papers to be works in progress.
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professors don’t really care when you turn in work anymore.
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you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than the actual text.
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you have given up trying to keep your books organized and are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
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you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
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you find yourself explaining to children that you are in “20th grade”.
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you start referring to stories like “Snow White et al.”
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you often wonder how long you can live on pasta without getting scurvy.
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you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
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you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
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you wonder if APA style allows you to cite talking to yourself as “personal communication”.
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you have a favourite flavour of instant noodle.
